How To Raise a Bilingual/ Trilingual Child: 3 HABITS That Work For Us!
- Ka Yee Meck
- Mar 21
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 28
Table of Contents:
Introduction: Why Most Families Quit
If there’s one thing I’ve learned after almost a decade raising trilingual kids… it’s this — most families don’t quit because they don’t care. They quit because they don’t have the right habits in place to keep going when it gets hard.
Today, I’m sharing the 3 DAILY habits that saved our trilingual journey — the ones that kept us going when honestly, it would’ve been so much easier to just… switch to English.
If you’re serious about raising bilingual or trilingual kids long term, these are the habits you need. Incorporate them into your family life, and I truly believe you’ll have a much higher chance of long-term success!
Habit 1: Speak AND Expect a Reply in the Target Language Daily
Let me first tell you about an encounter that really stuck with me. Back when my husband and I were struggling — our son could understand Russian and Chinese just fine, but he would only reply in English — I felt totally stuck.
One day, at a stay-and-play session, I chatted with an Albanian nanny who worked for a trilingual family (Swedish, German, and English). What she told me blew my mind:
“In all the time I’ve worked for them, I’ve never — not once — heard the Swedish mum speak a single word of English to her children.”
And the result? The kids were perfectly fluent in Swedish.
That was my wake-up call. Were we being consistent enough?
Honestly, NO.
But what truly transformed our journey was a conversation with another parent.
A dad successfully raising his kids bilingual in French and English told me something simple but game-changing: “You have to enforce the need for your son to reply in the target language.”
That’s when it really clicked — exposure isn’t enough. Kids need a reason to speak the language.
The Habit That Changed Everything:
We now speak to our kids in the target language every single day — and we expect them to reply. Not just sometimes. Every day. All the time.
It’s not about turning this into a battle. It’s about setting clear expectations early, so replying in the target language becomes their default.
And this is where I always come back to my favourite little equation:
Exposure × Need = Language Acquisition
We had plenty of exposure. But no “need” — because we didn’t expect them to reply in Chinese or Russian. Once that habit of replying in English sets in, it’s really hard to undo.
If you establish this habit early, it’ll save you so much stress later. Trust me — we had to work hard to reverse it. I’ve even made a video on how we helped our son become trilingual in just three months at age three — check that out if you’re curious!
Habit 2: Build a Daily Reading and Writing Routine in the Target Language
Now, habit two might surprise you — but it’s been SO powerful for us.
Think about it: can you imagine being unable to read or write in your native language? Probably not.
That’s why we made daily reading and writing in our target languages a non-negotiable habit.
Why It Matters:
1. Vocabulary Growth:
Reading introduces words and phrases that rarely pop up in daily conversation — expanding your child’s vocabulary naturally.
2. Consistency and Routine:
We read and write together almost every day. That sends a powerful message — this language matters. It’s part of our family’s identity.
3. Brain Benefits:
Literacy strengthens memory, focus, and problem-solving skills. I talk about this more in my video on the bilingual brain — it’s worth a watch! Or you can read it as a blog post.
Start Early:
Even if your child is little, you can start with reading — no need to jump into writing straight away. As they grow, gradually introduce writing activities. It doesn’t have to be formal — a simple storybook or a few lines together makes a huge impact.
Check out my video where I walk through our reading and writing routine — 15 minutes a day is truly all you need! Or read it as a blog post.
Habit 3: Create Positive Emotional Connections Through Family Time
Alright, onto habit number three — and this one’s a total game-changer.
Here’s my confession: until about a year and a half ago, we didn’t have family dinners.
Shocking, right?
But life, space constraints, and routines just got in the way.
Then, we moved house — and one of the very first things we did was sit down as a family around a real table and eat dinner together. And honestly? That small change was transformational.
The Essence of Habit 3:
We started creating positive emotional connections to our target languages through simple, high-quality family time — especially dinners.
Every night, we sit down, eat, chat, and share stories — all in Russian, Chinese, and English. It’s natural. It’s fun. And it cements the languages into our family life.
We also play board games, hang out, and just be together — languages flowing naturally as part of our bond. And that’s the key: the language isn’t some extra “learning” thing. It’s woven into family life.
Why This Matters:
When kids feel emotionally connected to the language, they’re way more likely to stick with it. It becomes part of who they are — not just something they’re “learning.”
Final Thoughts: Keep Going, You’ve Got This!
So, there you have it — the three habits that have truly kept our trilingual journey alive:
1. Speaking and expecting a reply in the target language daily
2. Building a consistent reading and writing routine
3. Creating emotional connections through quality family time
If you can incorporate even just one of these habits, you’re setting yourself up for so much more success.
Because here’s the truth: the only way to truly fail at raising bilingual or trilingual kids… is to give up.
And I know you won’t.
If you found this helpful, don’t miss my video on the ONLY equation you need to understand to raise bilingual or trilingual kids successfully! Or read it as a blog post!
EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT...
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Are you raising bilingual or trilingual kids? Which languages are you juggling at home?
Leave me a comment below — I’d love to hear from you!
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