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Imagine a chicken talking to a duck. They speak different languages and can't understand each other.
This is the Cantonese expression (雞同鴨講) we use when two people, literally or metaphorically, can't understand each other.
If you don’t want that chicken and duck scenario to be YOUR parent and YOUR child, keep reading to find out why passing on the heritage language is so crucial.
A Real Case Study
Let me begin by sharing a story with you. My husband and I were catching up with another couple at their house a while ago. All four of us grown-ups were chatting with a drink in our hands while our four kids ran around throwing toys everywhere. A typical Sunday playdate!
This couple are second-generation British Chinese, and they both speak Cantonese.
The subject of childcare came up, and I mentioned how lucky they were to have both sets of parents living nearby. I assumed their parents must help out a lot, but to my surprise, they chuckled and said no.
The reason? Their kids can’t communicate with their grandparents at all!
Both sets of grandparents only speak Cantonese, while their kids only speak English.
So, no free childcare for them!
This, in a nutshell, is why passing on your heritage language to your kids is so crucial.
What is a Heritage Language?
So, what exactly is a heritage language?
Simply put, it’s the language spoken by a child’s family or ancestors, which is different from the dominant language of the society they live in.
For example, if you’re living in the U.S. but your family speaks Spanish at home because they’re from Colombia, Spanish is your heritage language.
In our friends’ case, their heritage language is Cantonese, while the dominant language is English, as we live in England.
Things aren’t always clear-cut. For instance, in my most-watched video, I discuss our decision to raise our kids to speak Mandarin rather than Cantonese, which sparked some passionate and even vitriolic reactions. In families where parents speak multiple languages, it’s not always 100% clear what the heritage language is.
But generally speaking, it should be quite clear what your family’s heritage language is—or what they are, because in trilingual households, there can be two heritage languages!
Why It's Important to Pass on the Heritage Language
1. Communication with Extended Family
The number one reason why it’s crucial to pass on the heritage language is practical.
Your child’s inability to speak the heritage language might prevent them from communicating with their grandparents and other extended family members, which would be a real pity.
(And it might prevent you from getting free childcare—just kidding!)
Having a relationship with one's grandparents offers numerous benefits for children, both emotionally and developmentally.
Studies have shown that children who have close relationships with their grandparents tend to have higher emotional intelligence and greater resilience. For example, research published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that these relationships provide children with a sense of security and emotional support, which can enhance their overall well-being and social competence.
Additionally, the intergenerational connection can offer unique learning opportunities, fostering a deeper understanding of family history and cultural heritage, as highlighted by findings in the Gerontologist.
Overall, the bond between children and their grandparents plays a crucial role in their psychological and social development.
Why would you want to deprive your child of these benefits? I myself never had a close relationship with my grandparents due to distance and, partially, language, and that’s something I regret.
My children, in contrast, have an amazing relationship with my mum and my stepdad, which is lovely to see.
2. Stronger Connection to Cultural Identity
Do you know Howie D from Backstreet Boys? Those of you who have read my book or watched my other videos might be familiar with his story. Howie D, or Howie Dorough, was born to a Puerto Rican mother and an Irish-American father. He often talks about how his inability to speak Spanish as a kid prevented him from connecting with the Hispanic side of his heritage. Luckily, he learned to speak Spanish as an adult, which helped him find his roots.
This is the second reason why you want to raise your child to speak the heritage language: it will allow them to feel a much stronger connection with their cultural identity.
Another example is American Korean writer Helena Rho, who wrote a memoir about reconnecting with her Korean roots. Her family moved to Uganda and then the US when she was a child. To prioritize English fluency, her parents stopped speaking Korean at home, which led to her gradual loss of the language. She retained a good receptive knowledge but lost most of her expressive language.
Crucially, Helena feels that this isn’t just a matter of language; it’s a matter of identity. She felt embarrassed and even ashamed about her inability to speak Korean, adding to the cultural isolation common to people from immigrant backgrounds.
By raising your child to become fluent in their heritage language, you’ll help them feel more secure in their cultural identity and heritage, benefiting their personal development as well.
3. Cognitive and Cultural Benefits
Raising your child to be bilingual or multilingual brings tremendous cognitive benefits. It also helps preserve linguistic diversity and keeps your ancestors’ cultural heritage alive for future generations.
Practical Tips for Raising Bilingual Children
Now that you know the benefits, here are some practical tips to help you raise your child to speak the heritage language.
Tip 1: Create Language Immersion
Surround your child with the heritage language in various forms, especially conversations. Other forms of input can include books, music, and movies. The more exposure they have, the more natural the language will feel to them, and the more easily they’ll acquire it. Watch my video where I discuss language acquisition in more detail.
Tip 2: Be Consistent
Decide on a language strategy and stick to it consistently. Consistency is often the factor that determines your success. The more consistent you are, the better your results will be. Even if your child can only understand but not speak the heritage language, it’s still beneficial.
If you're new to the world of multilingual parenting, check out my blog post where I explain the three main strategies, or watch the video!
Tip 3: Engage with the Community
Language evolved as a means of communication and cooperation, so engaging with a language community is crucial. Find a community of heritage language speakers, whether it’s a local cultural group, language classes, or online forums and social media groups. Even spending time with other families who speak the language can make a huge difference.
Read my blog post where I share my thoughts on the subject of language schools, or watch it in video format!
Tip 4: Culture and Traditional Celebrations
Incorporate the culture into your family life as much as possible. Watch TV and movies, celebrate traditional holidays, and expose your child to cultural practices to help them understand and appreciate their heritage better.
Read my blog post about the importance of traditional celebrations, or check out my video to see this in action!
If you’re planning to raise your child to be bilingual or multilingual, download my family language planning template to kickstart your journey. Check out my book for more tips and advice, all wrapped up in an easy-to-understand package.
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