Chinese Mum vs Russian Dad – Culture Clashes That Surprised Us
- Ka Yee Meck
- 15 hours ago
- 5 min read
A Chinese mum and a Russian dad raising two kids in the UK… what could possibly go wrong? 😅
Quite a lot, actually – and not always in the way you’d expect.
I’m Ka Yee, a UK-based mum raising two trilingual children with my Russian husband. We’ve been married for nearly 15 years and have been parents since 2016. When we first started dating, our cultural differences felt… manageable. Interesting, even.
Then we had kids.
That’s when the real culture clashes kicked in.
In this post, I’m sharing five cultural clashes that genuinely surprised us – some that nearly caused marital meltdowns, some that still cause heated debates in the kitchen, and some that have actually made us better parents.
If you’re in a mixed-culture relationship, grew up in a multicultural family, or you’re just curious about what really happens behind the scenes in a Chinese–Russian household, this one’s for you.
Culture clash 1 – Outdoor life and the great camping crisis
In summer 2023, my husband and I had what I can only describe as a marital crisis.
He begged.
I refused.
Repeatedly.
What was the issue?
... Camping.
As in sleeping in a tent. On the ground. In nature.
I kept saying no.
Here’s the cultural backdrop. In Russian culture, being outdoors is a big deal. My husband grew up camping in forests, fishing, picking mushrooms, and spending time at the family dacha. Nature was part of everyday life.
Me? I grew up in Hong Kong and later lived in central London for years. Camping, to me, sounded dirty, inconvenient, and frankly unnecessary. Mud? Bush toilets? Communal bathrooms? Absolutely not.
But… I gave in.
And here’s the plot twist: I’m now the biggest camping convert in the family.
Camping has become an annual ritual we genuinely look forward to. It’s grounding, enriching, and brilliant for the kids. This culture clash pushed me way out of my comfort zone – and I’m so glad it did.
Sometimes, culture clashes aren’t obstacles. They’re invitations to open our minds up to new possibilities...
Culture clash 2 – Risk, danger, and motocross at eight years old
This one nearly gave me a heart attack.
Last year, my husband signed our son up for a summer activity. I assumed something sensible.
It was motocross.
Yes – off-road motorcycle racing.
And our son was eight.
The idea came after a trip to Sicily, where our son became obsessed with motorbikes.
I saw danger.
My husband saw... opportunity.
Culturally speaking, many Chinese parents (myself included) tend to be cautious about physical risk. High-risk sports often feel unnecessary – expensive, dangerous, and offering no “practical” benefit.
But my husband’s approach balances my instinct to bubble-wrap the kids.
At the beach, I’m the one watching like a hawk, making sure they don’t swim too far. Safety matters – but so does learning to assess risk, build confidence, and trust your own body.
This clash forced me to loosen my grip a little. And honestly? That’s been a good thing.
Think yin and yang – balance through difference.
Culture clash 3 – Communication style, mianzi, and brutal honesty
If you’ve heard of the Chinese concept of mianzi (面子), you’ll know it translates loosely as “face”.
It’s about dignity, social standing, and how you’re perceived by others. Giving face – especially to elders – is deeply ingrained in Chinese culture. You don’t openly contradict older family members. You protect harmony.
Russian communication culture, on the other hand, is very different.
Directness is valued. Blunt honesty is seen as sincerity, not rudeness.
So when my mum proudly asked my husband, “I made your favourite dish – five-spice chicken!! Is it tasty?” (it was basically a rhetorical question) and he replied, “It’s okay – not as good as usual,” I nearly died on the spot.
Let’s just say this communication cultural difference has caused… moments.
It also shows up in parenting.
My husband is extremely direct with the kids. Praise is enthusiastic – “Molodets!” – but so is criticism. No sugar-coating. If effort is half-hearted, he’ll say so.
When our daughter scored 7 out of 10 on a spelling test (she usually gets full marks), his reaction was immediate: “That’s not very good. You need to work harder.”
I cringed. But here’s the thing – the kids get gentleness from me and tough love from dad. In a strange way, it works.
Culture clash 4 – Food wars and the battle of the dumplings
Enter: DUMPLINGS.
Russian pelmeni look deceptively similar to Chinese jiaozi, but the resemblance ends there. Pelmeni are always meat-filled. Jiaozi often include vegetables for texture and balance. As a non-meat eater, I remain unconvinced that pelmeni could ever beat jiaozi.
Then there’s the snack cupboard debate.
My husband adores pryaniki – soft, spiced Russian biscuits. I find them dry and bland and would only eat them in a survival scenario.
I, on the other hand, love mochi (麻糬). My husband thinks they’re revolting – along with tapioca pearls in bubble tea, which he lovingly refers to as “booger balls”.
The kids? Fully 'bilingual' in snacks. They love both.
And to be fair, I’ve fallen hard for blini and pirozhki – especially the cabbage-filled ones. I even tried making pirozhki at home.
... Tried being the key word.
Culture clash 5 – Us vs Britain and the homework debate
This final clash might surprise you – because it’s not Chinese vs Russian.
It’s us vs Britain!
Both my husband and I grew up in cultures where homework is non-negotiable. Learning is consolidated at home. Practice matters.
So imagine our shock when our kids’ UK state school – a very high-performing one – sets no homework.
They read for 20 minutes a day and have a weekly spelling test. That’s it.
Many immigrant parents at our school find this baffling. We’re used to the idea that school learning needs reinforcement. Teachers reassured us not to worry – they’ve got it covered.
Respectfully… we still worry.
So like many other immigrant families, we buy workbooks and do homework anyway. Around an hour a day – including Chinese and Russian reading and writing.
For context, children in China often do three hours of homework a night. So yes – our kids still have it pretty easy.
And despite the “Chinese tiger mum” stereotype, my husband is 100% the tiger parent in our household. He once made the kids do homework after breakfast while we were on holiday.
Legend.
Final thoughts – when culture clashes become a gift
Raising children in a mixed-culture family isn’t always smooth. It can be messy, emotional, and sometimes explosive.
But it’s also enriching.
These clashes have forced us to question our assumptions, stretch our comfort zones, and ultimately build a family culture that borrows the best from both worlds.
I’d love to hear from you – what culture clashes have you experienced with your partner, or growing up in a multicultural family?
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