Top Questions About Raising Bilingual Kids – Answered! (2025 Q&A)
- Ka Yee Meck
- Jun 20
- 6 min read
Table of Contents
“Am I confusing my child by raising them with more than one language?”
“My partner doesn’t speak my language — is that a problem?”
“My child understands but won’t speak. What now?”
These are just a few of the many questions I get from parents raising bilingual or trilingual kids. Whether they come in as YouTube comments, Instagram DMs, or emails from fellow multilingual families — I hear them all the time.
So in this post, I’m answering some of the most common (and most important!) questions I’ve received recently (both in real life and from my YouTube subscribers!) – with real-life examples, science-backed explanations, and what’s worked for our own trilingual family here in the UK.
Q1: “Will my kids get confused if they’re learning multiple languages?”
Ah yes — the classic! Probably the number one question I get.
Here’s the good news: no, bilingual or trilingual kids are not confused. Even babies as young as four months old can tell the difference between two languages – research proves it!
When we see kids mix languages, what’s really going on is something called code-mixing — and it’s completely normal. It’s a strategy, not a sign of confusion. They’re using the words they do know to express themselves.
As their vocabulary grows in each language, the mixing naturally fades. If you’re curious about this, I’ve done a whole video and blog post diving deeper into code-mixing vs. code-switching — you can check out the blog post here and the video below!
Q2: “How should we split the languages at home?”
Honestly, this depends so much on your family situation.
For us:
I speak Mandarin,
My husband speaks Russian,
And as a family, we use English (especially since we live in the UK).
We use the OPOL method (One Parent One Language), and it’s worked really well for us. But if both parents speak the same minority language, I’d suggest using that language at home and letting English come from school or the environment. That’s called the Minority Language At Home strategy — and it can be incredibly effective too.
Whatever strategy you choose, the key is to keep it simple and consistent.
👉 Need help getting started?
Download my free 45-minute video course for multilingual families — includes a handy set of printable PDFs too! Get it here
Q3: “My child understands the language but won’t speak it. Help!”
Oh yes – I’ve been there. We were that family.
There’s actually a term for this: passive bilingualism. Your child understands the language but doesn’t use it actively.
We tried the gentle approach for a while – repeating what our son said in our languages, modeling correct sentences – but it didn’t really work for us. Eventually, after a conversation with a French dad, we switched to a firmer approach: we started asking him to repeat what he said, but in Mandarin or Russian.
It took about three months, and the change was incredible.
That firmer method might not be for everyone – but it worked for us. I share more about our exact 3-month journey in this blog post and the video below!
Q4: “My partner doesn’t speak my language — is that a problem?”
Not necessarily!
My husband doesn’t speak Chinese, and I barely speak Russian — but OPOL still works for us. That said, it really helps to learn a little of each other’s language. Not to be fluent, but just to stay connected and avoid anyone feeling left out.
We’ve had some tense moments where one of us felt excluded, but a little effort and open communication go a long way.
I've written a blog post and made a video diving deeper into this topic if you're interested.
Q5: “We can’t visit our home countries. Can we still raise bilingual or trilingual kids?”
Absolutely. I say this with confidence because our kids have never spent real time in Russia or China – and they’re still trilingual.
What is the key then, in my opinion? What happens at home. I know families who travel abroad every summer but don’t speak the language at home… and their kids still aren’t fluent. And vice versa.
So yes, immersion helps (immensely, even) – but it’s not essential.
Consistency at home matters more.
Q6: “My language doesn’t have graded readers or literacy resources. What should I do?”
We’re lucky to have plenty of Mandarin and Russian books – but if your language is less resourced, don’t worry. You can totally DIY your own literacy journey.
Here’s what I recommend:
Start with the alphabet
Use English books and cover the words with sticky notes
Translate simple books yourself (ChatGPT can help!)
Try the Language Experience Approach: let your child tell a story, you write it down in your language, and then read it back together.
Look for community-created resources — parenting forums, local groups, or language councils can be hidden goldmines!
The bottom line is that you don’t need a shelf full of fancy books.
Remember: resourcefulness beats resources every time!
Q7: “How do I explain bilingualism to my child – or to other kids who ask?”
This actually happened to us not long ago.
I was picking up my son from school, and we were chatting in Chinese. One of his friends overheard and asked, “Why do you talk in Chinese? What did you just say to your mum?”
He wasn’t being rude – just curious. But it made me realise something important: we need to equip our children with the words — and the confidence — to talk about their bilingualism.
According to research by Barbara Zurer Pearson and others, the way children feel about their bilingual identity is strongly shaped by how it’s acknowledged or accepted in their environment.
That means we play a huge role – not just in teaching the language, but in shaping how they feel about using it.
Here’s the balance I try to strike:
On the one hand, we want to make it feel normal. Lots of families speak different languages at home – it’s just part of life. For younger kids, a simple explanation is often enough:
“We speak Chinese at home because Mummy is from China.”
“That’s just how our family talks.”
It’s casual, confident, no big deal.
But at the same time, I think it’s really important to lean into the fact that being bilingual/ trilingual is something special. It’s not about bragging – it’s about helping our kids see their language skills as a superpower.
I often say to mine:
“Not everyone can do what you do. Speaking more than one language connects you to your family, your culture, and gives you a different way of seeing the world.”
So that’s the goal:
We normalise it and we celebrate it.
We give them the tools to explain it, while also helping them feel proud.
💬 Bonus Q&As – Rapid Fire!
Do you hide the fact that you speak English from your kids?
Nope! They know we speak English – but we always speak to them in our own languages.
Do you ask others to pretend they don’t speak English?
No, but I do ask my mum to speak in Chinese to the kids.
Do you meet up with other bilingual/ trilingual families?
As it happens, a lot of our friends are raising bilingual kids, but we do not meet up with other bilingual / trilingual families because of the way we raise our kids. Not yet in person, anyway!
Having said that, I recently hosted our first online Multilingual Family Hub meetup – it was amazing! I’m planning more soon. Sign up to our newsletter if you want to be invited to future events!
Do your kids listen to music in your languages?
Not much these days, though we used to when they were younger. My daughter does still love a certain Chinese song, though… It's called 老鼠爱大米 – very sweet!
🎥 Want to watch the full video version of this Q&A?
You can find it right here:
📚 Want to go deeper?
Grab a copy of my book:
Bilingual and Trilingual Parenting 101 — full of relatable stories, practical strategies, and encouragement for your family’s language journey.
🎁 Free resources to help you get started:
✨ Download the 5-Step Guide for Multilingual Families → Get it here
🗓️ Use the Family Language Planner to stay consistent → Grab it here
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